It’s one thing to buy a house, but another to buy a house with a spouse. Not just any spouse, but a partner who seems to fight you at every point of decision. For sure though, your significant other isn’t disagreeing just for the sake of disagreeing.

They genuinely believe that what they think is best for both of you. And this is what makes home buying with a partner so tricky. Both of you are deciding for your best interests, so you’re basically torn between equally good options.

How do you get out of this dilemma? The key is compromise. Here’s how you can make it happen:

1. Create separate must-have lists

A list of what you need in a home is one of the first steps you should do before searching for a property. It would be less chaotic if you’ll come up with this separately.

Why? Because you can easily spot your ‘common denominator,’ shared must-haves, which tells so much about your real priorities in buying a home. For the must-haves you don’t share, then you can talk it out if it really qualifies as a need. Go ahead then and do your list separately.

You should be able to include there at least your desired location, a number of rooms, and the size of outdoor space. After the exercise, compare your notes.

Once you finalized your list, that’s when you start hunting online and on-ground. Consider the house and land packages that Melbourne North communities provide, as these might just fit your must-haves.

2. Never let your heart rule over your head

A lot of the disagreements between couples come from money matters, often with one spouse feeling that going over budget is justified when the house ‘feels right.’ Couples would take out a higher mortgage for their forever home. If you’re planning to take this route, stop right there, and rethink.

A hefty amount for your ‘forever home’ may be too big that you’d eventually decide later on to resell it. So much for the ‘forever home’ you’re dreaming of. You and your spouse should agree from the very start that you wouldn’t let your emotions take over your calculations.

Remember that your loan payments every month shouldn’t exceed 25% of your take-home pay. Otherwise, you’d quickly drain your savings, and might just be a cause of huge marital conflict later on.

3. Get a mediator

Real estate agent with clients

A real estate agent will have no bias, at least on either one of you. They have a bias for what’s good, promising in the market. That kind of objective perspective is what you want. So, whenever you run into disagreements on budget or property priorities, consult your real estate agent.

If you’re still in the process of finding one, one crucial thing you should keep in mind here is to ask them how familiar they are at the type of home and neighbourhood you’re looking for. This can save a lot of time and money in the process. Of course, you should also check out their credentials and certifications.

It’s nerve-racking to buy a house, but the stress goes up a notch when you’re doing this with a spouse who has different preferences and tastes. Nonetheless, it’s possible to find a home you both would love. Remember the key: compromise.